"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves."
- A. E. Wiggin, Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game"
Throughout my life, ever since the first word I ever made passed my lips, and possibly before that, I have been confronted with one question. "Who are you?" And I know, there are thousands of people who are having this simple and normal question thrown at them. And I know, there is a correct answer and an incorrect one.
The correct answer is the most simple and probably most useless- "I'm Lukas."
Another correct answer exclusively for children is, "I'm Lukas, Professional Soccer Player". Or, "I'm Lukas, detective and secret agent". Whereupon the adult will stare down upon you with smiling eyes, say, "What an amazing imagination," and then completely disregard everything you just said except your name.
There are so many thousands of facets behind that thing that is a human being, that a mere undeveloped human mind cannot comprehend it. So this label of a is pasted upon you to make addressing you easier. And this name pasted on you is helpful. You couldn't just go around saying, "Hey! Person-whose-greatest-dream-is-to-be-a-soccer-player-but-is-in-internal-conflict-over-whether-or-not-he-is-capable-and-is-now-having-that-conflict-affected-by-his-loss-of-imagination-inherent-to-increasing-age-causing-the-side-representing-his-dream-to-fall, how's it going?"
But asking, "Who are you?" doesn't mean, "What is the label that hides your inner being called?" It means, "Who are you?" Lukas is just a name. To someone who wants to know, who are you, Lukas is nothing. It means nothing. It helps nothing. If you want my name, ask me my name, not who I am.
It takes years to come close to finding the answer to who you are. Most people don't even know who they are, or even deny it. So don't ask someone who they are and expect an honest response.
In fact, the ancient Egyptians are the only people who have understood this. A critical part to the Egyptian soul is the ren, or secret name. The ren was everything you were- you hopes, sorrows, loves, dreams, beliefs. It was also impossible to understand another person's ren unless they told you, and most people lived their entire life with no idea what their secret name was.
So don't be ask who anyone is. Ask them what their name is. What they hope, what they hate, what they love, what they dream, what they believe.
Never who they are.
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